Got me thinking

Recently, I went to Paris with my family. (That's me in the Louvre ;D)

It was the first holiday we've had (minus my brother of course) in 10 years. The reason why we haven't or rather can't go on holiday together is because we have contracts with hotels. We can't run both a business and be out of the country because apart from the allocated Sunday off (and of course national holidays) as we risk losing those contracts. If we lose those contracts which we've taken 10 years to accumulate I don't even want to think about what would happen.

Although I was extremely grateful that we were even allowed to go on this mini adventure it didn't satisfy me as much as I thought it would. The short trip was fueled by arguments, clashing personalities, more fatigue then rest; all of the problems were seemingly justified by lack of time.

One of the evenings, my dad was drinking, which was the first time in about 6 weeks or so, and I grew so tired with him leading to an unnecessary exposure of his hidden emotion against me. I didn't know how to respond to his rendition.

"Do you resent me. Us?"

I never show any affection to my family, well at least physical. In fact I despise it. It was just crazy to me that we spend all this time together and nothing like this was ever exposed before.

I guess I'll learn one day exactly how I'm supposed to feel.